Not good at coming up with titles..

I can't even begin to explain how scared I am right now for the next few days to go by. Dustin is getting deployed for six months. This is our first deployment. He told me that it takes his ship at least two weeks to get to the first place they are going to. This means I won't hear his voice for that amount of time. That breaks my heart. I don't know what I am going to do. Every day I long for the few phone calls that I get from him. They are what keep me alive. I know things will be okay, because we have no other choice. I know whenever he's underway we survive through emails, but the thing is, his longest underway so far has only been three days. THREE DAYS! NOW ITS SIX MONTHS! Going from three days to six months is going to be so hard and I honestly don't know how I am going to get through this. I know I have plenty of people to talk to to get me through this, and I couldn't thank them enough for all of there support. But you all know that its not the same. It helps, but the only thing that could make it better is him. I try to stay strong for him because when I'm sad, he's sad. Same goes for when he is sad, I'm sad. He has my heart and I have his at all times.

I keep telling myself I'm going to start doing things while he's gone because I can't sit around the house all day and be sad. But the thing is, I have no desire to do anything but that. My heart hurts when I can't be with him or talk to him. He's my soulmate.

But I HAVE to. I can't waste my life away and be depressed all the time. As much as I would just love to curl up in a ball and sleep until he comes home, I just can't. Sooooo

1. I'll start going to the gym again. I have to get back into shape. Gotta look good when my baby comes back in October, and for my wedding in May!
2. Maybe I'll start reading even though I've never been a fan of that before. Never liked writing either, so apparently things can change. I just know that there are a lot of good military books out there that I would like to check out.
3. I have a lot to do with school. I'm transferring schools, changing my major and going to try to cram an associates degree into a year and a half. We'll see how that goes.
4. Wedding planning! Of course! That's obviously going to keep me occupied, but I just wish Dustin was here to help me.
5. Oh I almost forgot! I'm so excited! My parents and I are going to Ohio this summer so they can meet the future in laws! I can't wait to see them all again. I miss them!

I guess thats it for today. I should go to the gym or something, but of course I won't. Maybe tomorrow...